let live and let God
In Al-Anon, we refer to "slogans" in times of distress or chaos. One might look to these sayings like another would read a fortune out of a fortune cookie....You read it and say in your head, "Ah, yes, that is good." Then you go on with your day. At least that is the way I read these "slogans" sometimes. Yet, they are really good for remembering in the midst of mental chaos. (That's probably why they work.) Two of the slogans I struggle with most are "Live and Let Live" and "Live and Let God." I mashed them both together for this post as "Let Live and Let God." They are both a big challenge for me in this moment. (Not to say that the "Live" my life part is not hard too- that is for another post.)
Let's start with some "Live and Let Live." How does this work when you are also trying to share a life with another? What does this physically, mentally, and emotionally look like? It sounds amazing and great when I read about it in How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics.
So, how do you make decisions with another human being and also detach from the choices they make that inevitably affect you? Yes, it feels good to say to the significant person in your life, "Okay, that is your want, desire and choice." But, what if that want, desire, and choice isn't what I want, desire, or choose... and, it is big... like where to live... or how to spend big chunks of money... or how to receive big help from others... the list can go on.
"Live and Let God" now comes in to play! I am great at praying and asking God to help. Now, do I sit and wait patiently for that help to come? Of course not! That may take God knows how long! (hehe- I meant to say it that way!) Al-Anon says this is where the control-conscious (not "freak" because I am NOT a freak) has to be wrestled and taken down.
I am the worst at this in the midst of mental chaos. My mental chaos usually means when I am feeling most misunderstood, not listened to, and lost in a situation. I do my best to remember that I am not in control, there is a Higher Power that has it all figured out already, and I am handed only what I can handle in this moment. When that self-talk does not work as effectively as I think it should, I have my oils to relish in....
In the midst of this mental chaos today, I used a few with my self-care:
Morning Lotion: 2 drops of Juniper Berry to alleviate the fear of confronting another with my thoughts and 2 drops of Bergamot to give courage to share my inner self
Night Bath: diffuse 3 drops each of Melaleuca, Clove, and TerraShield to assist with the codependency and 3 drops of Arborvitae for the feelings of distance from God; 5 drops of Lavender in the bath water
Let's start with some "Live and Let Live." How does this work when you are also trying to share a life with another? What does this physically, mentally, and emotionally look like? It sounds amazing and great when I read about it in How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics.
"Regardless of what they choose ... by minding our own business and getting out of the way, we allow others to be themselves. Meanwhile, we free ourselves from all kinds of burdens that were never ours to carry."
So, how do you make decisions with another human being and also detach from the choices they make that inevitably affect you? Yes, it feels good to say to the significant person in your life, "Okay, that is your want, desire and choice." But, what if that want, desire, and choice isn't what I want, desire, or choose... and, it is big... like where to live... or how to spend big chunks of money... or how to receive big help from others... the list can go on.
"Live and Let God" now comes in to play! I am great at praying and asking God to help. Now, do I sit and wait patiently for that help to come? Of course not! That may take God knows how long! (hehe- I meant to say it that way!) Al-Anon says this is where the control-conscious (not "freak" because I am NOT a freak) has to be wrestled and taken down.
"We have often been our own greatest enemies, standing in the way of the help we need...We let go of the problem, the need to know what will happen and when, the obsession with other people's choices, the thoughts and concerns that waste our time and energy because we cannot resolve them by ourselves. And we let God take care of them."
I am the worst at this in the midst of mental chaos. My mental chaos usually means when I am feeling most misunderstood, not listened to, and lost in a situation. I do my best to remember that I am not in control, there is a Higher Power that has it all figured out already, and I am handed only what I can handle in this moment. When that self-talk does not work as effectively as I think it should, I have my oils to relish in....
In the midst of this mental chaos today, I used a few with my self-care:
Morning Lotion: 2 drops of Juniper Berry to alleviate the fear of confronting another with my thoughts and 2 drops of Bergamot to give courage to share my inner self
Night Bath: diffuse 3 drops each of Melaleuca, Clove, and TerraShield to assist with the codependency and 3 drops of Arborvitae for the feelings of distance from God; 5 drops of Lavender in the bath water
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