I love this little poem. I think I may rewrite it on a post-it and place it on my laptop lid. This is something I recently discussed with my therapist. Lately it seems many of the things I normally tolerate or that have no affect on me, now bother me or cause irritation. Lately it seems a few of the feelings and expectations I thought I had moved away from or healed from, have lingered back in. It seems lately children being children irritate me, my dog being a dog annoys me, my friend needing a friend exasperates me. All of these feelings and emotional reactions are not like me. It seems lately the need and desire for complete silence and nothingness is required in order to continue breathing, thinking, and functioning. As I told my therapist, I do a great job of telling myself, "I had 30 minutes of yoga and mediation this morning; I do not need anymore. My time is now needed for the others in my life." I convincingly reassure myself, "I ran this morning before anyone was awake. I have released that energy and frustration. I cannot fit anymore time in for that today." And yet, my body feels exhausted, my emotions seem pent-up, my reactions are a little harsh. I recognize this and repeat the afore mentioned phrases to convince myself that I am practicing self-care. Well, that's not self-care or healthy. That is not what is needed. As my therapist reminded me, "You are taking care of everyone else and their needs/wants. You are taking care of every adult responsibility to keep your family afloat. You are taking care to ensure your school kids are emotionally balanced and educated. You are taking extra care to ensure your own kids are emotionally balanced and satisfied. Yet, you only allow or give yourself 30 minutes in a 24-hour day, when no one is taking care of you." I fell silent for a few seconds.
I love this little poem. I think I may rewrite it on a post-it and place it on my laptop lid. This is something I recently discussed with my therapist. Lately it seems many of the things I normally tolerate or that have no affect on me, now bother me or cause irritation. Lately it seems a few of the feelings and expectations I thought I had moved away from or healed from, have lingered back in. It seems lately children being children irritate me, my dog being a dog annoys me, my friend needing a friend exasperates me. All of these feelings and emotional reactions are not like me. It seems lately the need and desire for complete silence and nothingness is required in order to continue breathing, thinking, and functioning. As I told my therapist, I do a great job of telling myself, "I had 30 minutes of yoga and mediation this morning; I do not need anymore. My time is now needed for the others in my life." I convincingly reassure myself, "I ran this morning before anyone was awake. I have released that energy and frustration. I cannot fit anymore time in for that today." And yet, my body feels exhausted, my emotions seem pent-up, my reactions are a little harsh. I recognize this and repeat the afore mentioned phrases to convince myself that I am practicing self-care. Well, that's not self-care or healthy. That is not what is needed. As my therapist reminded me, "You are taking care of everyone else and their needs/wants. You are taking care of every adult responsibility to keep your family afloat. You are taking care to ensure your school kids are emotionally balanced and educated. You are taking extra care to ensure your own kids are emotionally balanced and satisfied. Yet, you only allow or give yourself 30 minutes in a 24-hour day, when no one is taking care of you." I fell silent for a few seconds. 
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